Archive for February 2012

The Constant Gardener

The Bean takes two naps a day–one in the morning and one in the afternoon. These naps are the only time during daylight hours when things can really be done. If we’re home, and the Bean’s awake, chances are pretty good that she’s impeding getting anything of substance done. Yes, yes, I know, I know–any time with your kid is quality time and I know this. Don’t get all huffy and upset and ready to call me a bad parent. I know that each moment is precious, yadda yadda. However, there are certain things, like cleaning the garage, or rearranging the office, or working out, that simply cannot be done when the kid’s awake, because, like it or not, when the kid’s awake the kid needs to be watched. If we don’t, she’ll do something like reprogram the DVR (she’s done this), or try to drink out of the dog bowl (this is a brand new nifty little trick), or find the one teeny clump of cat litter on the freshly-swept floor and try to eat it (it’s a talent).

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Ménage à Cinq

I LOVE SPAM. If feeds my very soul.

It’s like arts and crafts, except naked and with dildos.

Wanna spam me on Twitter? Feel free.

The Hulk

Setting: Early morning. I’m sitting in my office.

From down hall, in the kitchen: Bang. Bang. BOOM. BOOM.

Me (slightly concerned): What is that?

Dada (from the depths of the kitchen): It’s the Bean.

Me (definitely concerned now): The Bean? What’s she doing?

Dada (resigned): Knocking a hole. In the world.

TEN!!!1

Happy 10-month birthday to my favorite farty-pants lovebug! Momma hearts you (despite what you may sometimes think when she’s curled up in the fetal position on the floor next to your crib), Bean!

Homage to Hoover

Before the baby:

After the baby: